"...what if it's negative?"
All these thoughts were running through my mind the morning after I indulged in red wine and a margarita and was driving the barely a mile to Target to get a latte and a pregnancy test.
{Unsure of who actually reads this, I will spare the specifics, as I'm sure we all know how babies are made. But it is important to note that this was completely unplanned and a MAJOR surprise.}
So, I'm driving thinking that surely I'm not growing a tiny human and that my extreme fatigue, swollen A-cups, and beer belly bloat were all symptoms of my period that should've come yesterday.
Entered Target. Bought said latte and pregnancy test. The Clearblue Digital. I wanted to see the words. No faint lines that make me question yes or no.
Came home. Sipped on latte. And took an infamous trip to the restroom.
I sat it on top of the window sill and looked at it immediately. I was supposed to wait 5 minutes, but I'm pretty sure anyone who has peed on that stick looks at it at 30-second intervals.
I looked at it at roughly the 3 minute mark. PREGNANT.
Omg. Omg. Omg. What? No way. Holy shit. What? Seriously? Omg.
I cried. Then I laughed, and then repeated that process for about an hour. I also paced the house clutching my belly, shaking with giddiness and terror and simultaneously yelling at the dog that I was dogsitting to stop biting my leg. "Can't you tell I just found out I'm pregnant and need to deal with these extreme emotions, you little $h*T!?!?" -me to dog
OOPS. I MISSED SOMETHING: JIMI WAS OUT OF TOWN AND HAD NO IDEA I WAS EVEN REMOTELY THINKING THAT I COULD BE PREGNANT.
Jimi was enjoying a weekend away with his CrossFit buddies at Regionals. When I say enjoying himself, I mean boozin' it up big time. He said he'd be home by 4-5pm. I took the test around 11am. This was going to be the LONGEST day ever. I've never been one to process things internally. So, naturally, I call my BFF from high school who 3 weeks prior when I was home in Nashville confided in me that she was ~4 weeks pregnant. We FaceTimed, and I told her the news.
"What do I do NOW?" I asked her. After all, she was an expert pregnant lady at 7 weeks pregnant.
I drove back to Target and bought What to Expect When You're Expecting. #basicbitch I also googled every thing related to pregnancy imaginable. And I also schemed how I would break the news to the dad-to-be.
Jimi called me and in his alcohol-induced, foggy state of mind told me he probably wouldn't be home until later. Later turned into 10:45pm. Do you know how long that is!? I was losing my mind.
When he came in the door, I barely greeted him before I was all like, "Hey babe, look at my phone. I took some funny pics of the dogs." The video I have of this is hilarious. What a good husband...to act all interested in silly dog pics after being buzzed for about 3 days straight and 10:45pm on a Sunday night. First picture: dogs. Second picture: dogs. Third picture:
His reaction was PRICELESS. Total shock. And just like everyone else I told, he thought I was kidding. Ok, ok, I get it. I joke a LOT. I've prank called more people than Jehovah's Witnesses have knocked on doors. But I'm not just gonna joke around that I'm pregnant on some random Sunday night.
I pulled the test out of my pocket to show him the proof. Then I took another test to confirm it. We embraced one another and spent the rest of the evening with perma-grins dreaming about the future and having miniature freak-outs. We'd been married for almost 5 years, and we knew that babies would soon be in our future, but I kept trying to plan it. "Maybe 2016 would be a good year. You know, jobs, houses and such will be all be figured out..." Blah, blah blah. I should've known that the two worst planners who happened to marry each other would have a baby for which there was no planning. Spontaneity really got us good this time.
And as it usually goes, this was the best moment in my life to realize that I'm not in control. Nor do I want to be. It's exhausting. God was giving me exactly what I needed in that time of my life...I've never been so sure of it. (The Jehovah's Witnesses told me that...I kid, I kid.)
How quickly life can shift! And it was only the beginning. Up next: pregnancy and our birth story!
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